It’s been a slow and chilly news week. We got the real scoop from some real Irishmen, talked to a funny man about a little Chihuahua,
asked more people about the Obama family dog, and responded to a bag of flour poured on Lindsay Lohan.
This week I had a very special dinner with Guggi aka Derek Rowan, the avant-garde Irish artist who is has also best friends with U2’s Paul Hewson aka Bono. Guggi told me about Bono so I thought I would report it in my little “pet” blog. The dynamic due have been best “lads” since they were four years old, can you imagine? In addition to being friends for over 200 dog years, Guggi and Bono have had their nicknames for almost as long as they have been friends. The seemingly silly names came from their childhood inspirations, you know, the ones that absolutely came true. Young Paul thought Guggi sounded like an artist name and young Derek thought Bono sounded like a rock star name. And that’s how Guggi and Bono were born! Hey, maybe I should give Lucky a silly name in hopes that one day she’ll be as big as Bono. I’ll ask my nine year niece for some recommendations.
Once I stopped giggling about silly names, Guggi told me about his Shar-Pei named Shamus, whose name exemplifies artistic alliteration. Guggi is also a professional Bearded Dragon breeder – possibly the first and last Bearded Dragon breeder I’ll ever meet. In all my time blogging, I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about a Bearded Dragon. The closest I’ve ever been to writing about a lizard is Eddy Izzard. If you want to check out some of the amazing and creepy creatures Guggi breeds, visit his lizardly website, WhereDragonsDwell.com. At dinner we ran into megastar Keanu Reeves who told us that unfortunately he currently doesn’t have any dogs, but he loves dogs. Could he love dogs so much that his band, Dogstar, hail some dogspiration from its canine name?
This week we’ve still been on the hunt for the perfect dog for the Obama family and, yes, we’re still asking everybody. We got one of our favorite funny men, E!’s The Soup’s Joel McHale, on the phone to discuss this pressing political issue and also talk about his adorable Soup Chihuahua sidekick, Lou. McHale thinks the President-elect should adopt, “A full sized bull Mastiff or a Airedale. Just the biggest dog he can find. I just think it would be funny to have a 160lb dog tearing through the oval office.” As for a name? McHale told us Obama should name it, “Hope. Hope the dog. But make sure the dog doesn’t look a moose, or Sarah Palin will shoot it.”
If anyone has seen McHale on The Soup, they have seen the teeny Chihuahua named Lou he uses to accentuate the jokes on the show. Sadly, Lou doesn’t belong to McHale, but they do make a dynamic duo. Lucky just adores Lou and to be honest with you, she really admires Lou’s comedic skills. I’m the only one that laughs at Lucky’s jokes, but she’s been working on her humor. McHale gave us the full scoop on Lou, the funniest dog since Triumph. “We brought Lou on in the heyday of Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua ownership, which she quickly got rid of and got a Kinkachoo – that bitch – and so we brought Lou on and I thought he looked like some little rat dog, but in fact Lou is just a tremendous dog whose incredibly loving, well behaved and well disciplined- that dog could be 60 feet across a field and you could say ‘Lou sit’ and Lou will sit.” I’m shocked at Lou’s discipline considering I can’t get Lucky to sit if she’s further than six inches away from me. Maybe there’s a direct link with his obedience and comedy skills – or at least I’ll tell Lucky that. McHale told me that if Lou was to resemble any celebrity, it would be Steve Buscemi because “they have the same eyes.”
And what’s next for Lou? McHale tells us, “He just had a meeting with Baz Luhrmann. They’re going to do some sweeping epic. Some sort of huge musical, sweeping, tent-pole epic. He also wants to be on CSI: Miami and there are a couple dogs in the neighborhood he likes to hump.” As for any other dogs on set? McHale joked, “Well Ryan Seacrest is about the same height as a full grown Poodle.” Gotta love his McHale humor.
Finally this week, Lucky and I checked out the Fourth Annual Cool vs. Cruel ceremony honoring fur friendly designers and retailers who exude compassion in fashion. This event marks the same week that Mean Girls starlet Lindsay Lohan was attacked with a bag of flour in Paris by an anti-fur activist. The activist called Lohan a “fur hag.” Lucky and I are proud to say that we have been called a lot of things, but “fur hag” has never been one of those things. Lohan’s girlfriend, Sam Ronson, responded by writing on her blog “PETA should focus their efforts on educating people on what they believe are injustices instead of seeking press via harassing those in the limelight,” adding by way of a p.p.s., “I think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. nice job, lady.” Ironically enough Ronson’s mother Ann Dexter-Jones and her twin sister, Charlotte, were both on the committee for Cool vs. Cruel. Sounds like a family conflict of interest. We’re just glad Lindsay wasn’t walking one of those five Lohan dogs when she got sacked. I don’t think pure flour is good for dogs.
At the event we caught up with America’s Next Top Model judge and noted fashion photographer and gorgeous hunk, Nigel Barker. Without cracking any jokes about his last name (this being THE pet blog and all) , we asked him his opinion about the first-dog in the White House. Barker responded with the grace of a proper English gentleman, saying Obama should adopt “Whatever dog he wants, whatever one his children wants. You know, you see an animal and you bond with it. I’ve had many many dogs in my life and they all look different.” Barker did crack a smile when we asked him what the name should be, blurting out, “McCain.”
Barker is the spokesperson for the Humane Society Protect Seals campaign and also works with the Protect the Sharks campaign. Barker told us, “The planet seems to be in peril, animal conditions are dreadful, even in America. We treat them with disrespect. We must treat animals and each other with respect. I think there have been some great changes recently. We just had a unanimous vote in the House of Representatives calling Canada to ban seal exports all together and that’s from years of us basically going up to Capital Hill, speaking to Congressmen and finally letting it go through. There is absolutely no more seal hunting in Canada.” Hmm, Lucky has never met a seal certainly sure she would love them.
Also at the event was our favorite 90s club-kid turned designer, Heatherette’s Richie Rich. On the Obama family dog, Richie Rich said he should get a Cavillier King Charles Spaniel, admitting “I have one and they’re the sweetest dogs in the world. They’re very royal and very regal. They’re easy to potty train, they love kids, they don’t bite they don’t bark… they’re lickers.” As for a name, Richie Rich said the family should call it “Change,” giving us a “ching ching” gesture to go with it. DOG knows that animal won’t have any money problems in this financial crisis.
Hope everyone has a great week! We hear weather reports calling for snow tomorrow! It’s too soon for Lucky to be wearing bulky sweaters, or maybe it’s just time for a vacation.